July 27, 2020
By Julianne Hudson
I sit on my bedroom floor and open a box full of letters from my lunchboxes. I am the product of my mother’s breadcrumb trail of love letters, each brown paper bag containing a slice of hope and a yummy PB&J sandwich.
I realize how important these were for me. Not only receiving each letter, but also knowing they would continue to come. The love embedded within each note, even the ones with silly remarks, made me feel on top of the world and like I was the most important person. No matter what was going on at school or with my friends, I knew I was loved and valued. I think back to these moments and I cannot help but smile. God knew I needed this. From time to time, my dad would insert a note, and I knew the sandwiches might not be as good as when mom made them, but I knew he loved me too.
Everyone deserves to experience the love of Christ here on earth. A love so deep, so beautiful, that once experienced fully, you cannot help but share it. And you simply must share it, not merely in hope of receiving it back, but to glorify Him.
“We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19 NIV)
So, I sit on my bedroom floor and open a box full of letters. Letters from my lunchboxes, letters from my family and friends, letters from strangers and even letters from myself. I recollect memories, from triumphs and victories to storms and hurdles. I begin to weep, thinking about all who have loved me. Even in the faded ink, I cannot deny that I am worthy and valued.
I know my worth does not stem from anything I have done. It is not in any victory I hold in my heart or accomplishment I have achieved. It doesn’t go away when I slip up or decrease because I failed.
In fact, it’s so much deeper. My worth comes from the fact that I am a daughter of Christ. This will never change. This lasts forever. As I reread at these letters, I smile. Because in this crazy thing we call life, I’m able to experience a glimpse of the love of Christ through the people around me. What a true gift, to be able to experience love in this way.
To be quite honest with you, I often tuck this box of letters away. I forget my worth and settle for the mediocrity surrounding me. My heart’s posture of gratitude fades quickly. I start walking with a skewed perspective because I allow my circumstances to define me. Hope fades and I lose sight of who I am. I allow my emotions to rule out the truth and I begin to wonder who I really am. And I start believing lies and giving into them.
There are always seasons where we feel sad and not ourselves. That is okay, because there are also seasons where we will feel joyful and victorious. The waves will continue crashing upon our lives and we may get wet, but with Christ, we will never drown. That is something I’ve held onto lately, with all that’s been going on in the world. Sometimes I just need to whisper, “I will not drown.”
Whatever your season, whatever you are feeling, I want you to know you are not alone. Remind yourself of the glimpses of love you have experienced in the past. Look back and recall the breadcrumbs of love letters in your personal journey. It will help bring you back to reality. It will help remind you that you are loved and never alone.
You may not have a box of letters, but you do have something. And if not, here is your something: “the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 NIV)