November 2, 2020
By Julianne Hudson
I was sitting on my front porch, sipping my coffee like any normal Tuesday morning. My mind had a million things racing through it, but all I could think about were these three words: “Do it Afraid”.
So often I am overcome with a decision. I feel stuck or unsure of what I should do. I confuse myself and overthink absolutely everything. I second guess my thoughts and find myself in a jumbled mess. Often I give up and disregard a nudge from God because I would rather not deal with it.
I have always thought fear was a bad thing. You are told growing up not to fear the dark, simply turn on a light, or don’t be afraid of confrontation because it leads to growth. We fear new friendships, relationships, jobs, experiences, and everything in between because comfort becomes our crutch. We fear what God may want for us because we know we must let go of an addiction. We fear that we might not get the approval from everyone. What if somebody walks out? What if I lose my job? What if I don’t have a backup plan? Fear becomes our reality. But what if we are supposed to be afraid in decisions if it creates trust in Jesus?
The other day I circled a parking lot 12 times trying to decide if I should go into an event alone. I didn’t want people thinking I was weird showing up alone (yes, this is a real fear). I almost missed one of the most beautiful encounters I’ve ever had being in community with people. All because fear crippled me.
Without fear, we live safe, boring lives where we already know the outcome of our decisions, because we’ve played out absolutely every possibility and are okay with whatever might happen. We avoid confrontation, communication, and real change because that requires effort. And we would rather take the easy way out, because if we invest and get rejected, then what?
That day in the parking lot, I didn’t let fear win; I allowed it to move me forward. I wanted to turn around multiple times when I was walking towards the event, but I didn’t. I can only imagine the moments in the past when I missed out because I let fear win, but I am looking forward to the moments in the future when “doing it afraid” creates something I never expected—something beautiful. When I hear “do it afraid” I hear the voice of Jesus. I hear “trust me”. And for now, this is more than enough for me.